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Home » Feature Articles » Riga’s Gear, Duchatelet’s Tears and Slater and Jimenez’s Beers – Rest of the Season Possibilities

Riga’s Gear, Duchatelet’s Tears and Slater and Jimenez’s Beers – Rest of the Season Possibilities

After Charlton’s 1-0 win over Nottingham Forest, there are some starting to believe that safety is near enough assured.

However, there’s still plenty of time left in this season, and a number of events could take place before May.

These ten possibilities are amongst the most likely.

(Disclaimer, they’re not)

Jose Riga to take a trip to Marks and Spencer’s menswear department, whilst taking his assistant to the Charlton club shop

Come on, Jose, if you’re ever going to win the hearts of Charlton fans you’ve really got to up the stakes in the fashion department.

Wearing the same suit and tie to every game is an insult to the man who used to occupy his position on the touchline, whist his assistant might want to study Alex Dyer’s outfit on a match day.

I do have some sympathy though; it must be hard to afford a range of suits when you’re not contracted.

Danny Green to give Riga a Ballers Clothing t-shirt in a desperate attempt to get back into the side

After Green’s monthly chance in the starting XI was once again wasted, the winger needs a new way of convincing the bloke in charge to pick him.

What better way to impress Riga than by improving his ‘sore threads’ with some fine Ballers Clothing attire. He’ll even offer these to the Head Coach for free, to ease the financial burden on the contractless Belgian.

Expect Riga to be applauding an over hit Green cross whilst wearing a slogan t-shirt and a baseball cap very soon.

The Media Team to be replaced by Standard Liege’s work experience lads

Sorry (JS), (IL) and (OG), your time at the club is up. Despite doing nothing wrong, in fact performing admirably in tough circumstances and impressing supporters, Duchatelet has decided that his bunch of young journalists on the books of Standard can do the job better.

Doubts start to emerge after typos appear on the club Twitter feed and the website is rarely updated, but we’re told to back the new men.

Roland Duchatelet to cry himself to sleep whilst watching videos of Yann Kermorgant’s goals for Bournemouth

As Duchatelet scrolls through his emails whilst lying in bed, ignoring any that have come from the managers of his 526 clubs, he notices one from a French email address he doesn’t recognise. Not owning any French clubs, the Belgian hopes it could be someone offering the chance to buy a fourth tier shambles.

The message contains nothing but an attached video. Duchatelet is expecting a presentation on the club’s history, but instead he sees footage of quite a good looking chap scoring a few goals for a red and black team. He’s actually quite decent. Duchatelet makes a mental note to sign him for one of his clubs.

The video ends with the good looking bloke looking up towards the camera and staring. He’s wearing a red shirt.

And then it clicks.

“Oh god, what have I done!” screams Charlton’s owner out loud before the tears begin to slide down his cheeks.

Astrit Ajdaveric to take a selfie with Riga

Both Ajdaveric and Riga have a prolific involvement in Instagram selfies. Riga, although always looking a little uncomfortable, has found himself smiling for photos with fans, whilst Ajdvaeric, always looking like a complete natural in front of the camera, has made himself a fans’ favourite with his mixture of style and humour.

With the latest craze seemingly celebrities attempting to outdo each other with a sensational selfie, surely Ajdaveric and Riga teaming up would top the lot?

Reza Ghoochannejhad to announce his retirement from football by announcing his intentions to emulate his hero, Tom Daley

“Football has been nothing but a platform for me in which to showcase my diving skills away from the pool,” says an emotional Ghoochannejhad in front of a packed press room.

“I’ve always hidden it, but after watching Tom Daley get himself an ITV show, I couldn’t hide it any more.

“It’s my dream to represent Iran at the Olympics, and I’ll be doing my best to qualify for the diving team from here on in. My football career is over.”

Charlton’s Facebook likes and Twitter favourites immediately follow in Reza’s footsteps and take a tumble.

Andy Hughes to finish off Cameron Stewart’s cross to give Leeds a win

After begging and pleading for weeks, Riga finally relents and allows Hughes into the starting XI for next Tuesday’s trip to Leeds.

With the game entering stoppage time and the scores level, a Leeds break ends with Cameron Stewart’s cross seemingly falling at the feet of Hughes to clear.

Instead, the former Leeds man smashes the ball into the back of his own net before singing ‘marching on together’ louder than anyone else inside Elland Road.

Dale Stephens to score against Charlton at the Amex and reveal a ‘I’VE NOT #MOVEDON’ t-shirt

Lashing an effort past Ben Hamer from ‘Dale Stephens Territory’ (quite far from goal), the former Charlton midfielder races away, ignoring his Brighton teammates that attempt to celebrate with him. Instead, he rips off his shirt and stands in front of the travelling supporters displaying a ‘I’VE NOT #MOVEDON’ t-shirt.

As the Addicks support Stephens and sing pro-Powell songs, several move on-ers, er, move on and walk out of the away end in protest.

Chris Solly to return having grown by seven inches after his injury was in fact growing pains

Too embarrassed to reveal the true extent of his absence over the last few months, Solly finally takes to The Valley’s ploughed furrows in late April after informing the media that growing pains had kept him side-lined.

The now 5’10 full-back put in an outstanding performance, as ever, but fans were left disappointed after not being able to rhyme ‘ten’ with ‘Terry’.

It took a couple of games before ‘Chris Solly, Solly,he’s no longer five foot four, he’s better than Bobby Moore, Chris Solly, Solly’ was heard from the Covered End.

Messrs Slater and Jimenez to crack open the beer cans as Ricardo Fuller scores the goal on the final day of the season to relegate Charlton

Despite the man they tried so hard to cripple already out of a job, Slater and Jimenez’s master plan won’t be complete until the Addicks are sent down by the forward they should have kept.

The Jamaican’s 90th minute winner at Bloomfield Road, a fine strike into the top corner after making Michael Morrison look a bit silly, sends his former club down whilst keeping Millwall in the division.

Fuller consoles his former team mates and comes to apologise to crying Charlton fans; Slater and Jimenez, after downing all the beer in sight, open up a bottle of Tesco own brand champagne in a one bedroom council flat.

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2 Comments

  1. Hungry Ted says:

    Great read. A rare Addicks-related smile has stretched across my face. More of these type of posts, Kyle.

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